TEMMY: Getting My Groove Back

It was a Thursday and almost closing time at the IT firm where I worked as a Software Developer. I had been feeling a bit low since the fashion show and I needed to do something this weekend to perk myself up. I wasn’t feeling like my usual self, and I resented that. This morning, I decided that I had just about had enough of obsessing over Tade. I hadn’t heard from him for weeks, but last night I woke up from a dream of me and him on a date together. That was the signal I needed to shake myself. He appears to have moved on from our fling, so I’ve got to do the same. I need to reclaim the old Temmy! The Temmy who would never cry or mope around over a man. The Temmy who grabbed life by the horns and played by her own rules.

When did I start feeling like this? I remember back in high school - I was the girl that shunned all her admirers. I guarded my heart very carefully and never allowed myself to get too involved with guys. I hid behind my studies then, but I knew I would not allow a guy to toy with my emotions. I saw too many of my girlfriends going through one disappointment or the other with their own boyfriends, and to me it was infuriating. Why should a girl put up with so much crap from a guy just because? When my dad cheated, my mum divorced him, and she set that example for me. My dad stopped being a big factor in our lives, except for the regular financial receipts. Even though my mum is now on my case to settle down soon, we both know that she would not want me to make the same mistakes she did. That’s why I had set a very high standard for myself when it came to guys. And that’s why I didn’t put up with any nonsense; once my heart was no longer in a relationship, I bounced.

After university, I went through a phase when I chilled for a while because my friends and my mother started showing concern about my dating habits. So I decided to slow down and prove to them that I could make a relationship work. Emeka was the first guy I really tried to stick with for more than necessary, but look how that ended up. Now, with Tade I acted impulsively and finally allowed my feelings to take over my logic; but that also got me nowhere. All I have to show for it is mountains of guilt, pain and regret. I’m no longer going to believe in finding true lasting love and happiness with one guy. I will just do me: enjoy life, have fun and take each day as it comes.

I was alone in the office as my colleague was not around, so I decided to call Titi to give her the update on my decision. She had asked me about Tade at the fashion show, but I was too busy and not yet ready to talk about it at the time.

“Hi sweetie,” Titi said as she picked up her phone. “I’ve been expecting a call from you.”

“Sorry I haven’t called you in a while.” I said. “Been all over the place lately.”

“I know how that feels,” Titi said.

“How’s work?”

“Busy as usual. I’ve got two new clients so I’m about to get even busier. Hope you’ve been good though?”

“I’m alright, I just needed to figure things out, you know…”

“Yeah, so what’s up?”

“I’m moving on with my life Titi.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know Tade right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well I did as you said, and told him everything. But since then he’s not returned my calls.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry dear.”

“It’s alright; I don’t really blame him for being angry. I’m glad I told him the truth.”

“Hmmm.”

“So I’m doing as you said: taking each day at a time and doing what makes me happy.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Titi said.

“I suggest we go out to celebrate my new-found freedom tomorrow night,” I said. “Do you want to come?”

“Yeah I would love to,” Titi said. “I’ll check my diary and get back to you later this evening, okay?”

“Okay darling. I’ll ask Funmi as well. Speak to you later.”

I looked at my watch. It was time to leave and I had things to do once I got home. I was going to remove some skeletons from my closet.

* * * * *

On Friday evening, we were in the club and the dance floor was in full swing. I was dancing with the third guy who had asked me, and he wasn’t letting me out of his sight. I didn’t care, I was having fun. It felt good to be alive, to let go of all cares and burdens and just move to the music. I could see Funmi and Ebuka from the corner of my eyes; Titi was also nearby. A favourite song came on and I stopped thinking and lost myself in the music.

* * * * *

I woke up with a slight headache on Saturday morning at Funmi’s place. We had left the club together, dropped Titi off at her flat, and then she insisted I must stay over at hers.

“You’re awake now?” she asked, from her work desk in the room.

“Hmmm,” I said, turning over. “What time did we get back?”

“About two-thirty in the morning.” Funmi laughed. “We practically had to drag you out of there.”

“I needed it.”

“You were the main attraction of the night,” Funmi continued. “When we decided it was time to go, I had to rescue you from two guys who wanted your number by all means.”

Good old mummy Funmi, doing what she does best; got to love her for that.

“Babe, I was in the zone. I could have danced all night,”

“I could see that,” Funmi laughed. “As for me, I’m getting too old for all-night stunts like that.”

I smiled. “That’s just because you’re now part of a couple again. I’m making the most of my single days.”

“No doubt you are. So what were you talking about last night?”

“What?”

“Well you mentioned something about throwing out bad memories.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You were quite tipsy at the time. But you were telling Titi and I that you had a clear out.”

“Huh?” I squinted and tried to focus. “Oh yeah, I remember now.” I said finally. “I went through my stuff on Thursday night and got rid of lots of junk.”

“What kind of junk?”

“First I went through my stuff, and threw out all the garbage linking me to my exes. You won’t believe how many CDs, letters, cards, photos and jewellery I threw out. I did the same with my emails – got rid of old messages between me and ex-partners. Next I went through my phone and deleted names and phone numbers of unnecessary guys. Ex-boyfriends, just-in-case guys, everyone including Tade.”

“You deleted Tade’s number?”

“Yes, he’s now history too.”

“You sure move on quickly Temmy.”

I sat up on the bed and looked at Funmi. “What else do you want me to do? He’s refused to speak to me since the last time I was here. I can’t sit around and wait for him forever.”

“Do you know where he lives? Maybe if you visited – ”

“No I don’t.”

Funmi chewed her pen thoughtfully. “Well, I suppose you can’t. You shouldn’t let your happiness depend on someone else.”

“My thoughts exactly.” I said. I got up and stretched. “Let me go and freshen up quickly so I can start heading back to my place.”

“Won’t you have breakfast?” Funmi asked.

“I want to go shopping today so I should have an early start.” I checked the time as I left the room. “As it is already past ten, I should hurry.”

“Okay then. My flatmate, Marta has made yummy pancakes this morning, so you can take some with you.”

“Thanks!” I called out to her from the bathroom.

* * * * *

A spot of retail therapy was part of my plan for this weekend. There was nothing like a good day of picking out new shoes and clothes to get my mind off boy trouble. I did feel a bit sad as I navigated the shops, because I was doing it on my own. Usually this was something Maureen and I would do together. Out of my group of friends, Maureen was the only one that shared my love for fashion and clothes. Still, I smiled as I thought about her and imagined what she would say when I picked up a pair of black studded KG shoes. Probably something like: you can’t put a price on fabulousity! I shopped to my heart’s content – updating my wardrobe with a jacket, two pairs of shoes, a dress and a ton of awesome accessories. I started heading out when I was satisfied with my purchases. Since I would be working from home in the coming week, I still had to stock my fridge. I decided to go and drop my shopping bags at my place first before going to the supermarket.

I unloaded my bags from the car and took the stairs up to my flat. I almost tripped in my heels as I searched my handbag for my keys when I turned onto the corridor. And then I saw it – a huge bouquet of flowers waiting for me right on my doorstep.

(c) FG