TITI: Saying It In Songs

When I knocked on Victor’s door for the second time, I could hear Jeremiah Gyang’s Kauna Allah playing. We had since become friends and he was constanly inviting me over. The times we chatted, I felt at ease with him and it seemed like I had known him a lot longer. My surprise must have reflected in my wide eyes when he swung the door open with a charming grin.

“What? Can’t a caramel-skinned guy listen to a Hausa song?” he teased as he took two steps backwards in a dance move and sang along with the player, letting me in.

“You’ll have to tell me that story.” I teased back with twinkling eyes and did a flirty dance move which involved flinging my hair back with a flip of my hand and swaying a little as I swung past him. His dimples were deeper in his smile this time.

Gosh this guy is cute, I thought, but I kept my cool and took a seat on his inflated chair. I almost toppled over as I sat but Victor rushed to my side and stopped me just in time. I giggled hysterically.
“Now, that was close,” he said making a goofy face at me.

“Seriously?” I asked, my poker face slapped on.

“Lighten up. Almost everyone falls from that chair and it did give you the chance to see superman in action.”

“Yeah right,” I answered and we both laughed.

“So, what’s the story?” I asked.

“What story?”

“You know, the one where you get to understand Hausa songs.”

“Other than my mum being Scottish and my dad Hausa?” he replied.

“Well, yes, I’ll have the unedited version if you’ll dish.”

“You know what, it isn’t something I normally talk about but those eyes of yours are compelling me to tell all.”

“My eyes are compelling you to talk?” I feigned ignorance and looked at him intently, using what Dayo would call my hypnotic gaze.

“See what I mean?” He held my gaze again with a straight face. “I won’t budge though,” he said and touched my nose with his forefinger.

The door phone rang and Victor went to buzz a UPS delivery man in.

“Are you expecting a parcel?” I asked.

“No, but that’s the trouble with being on the ground floor. I’m forever buzzing people in.”

“Yeah, it happens to me sometimes too. Actually what happens to me is that the UPS guys will often buzz my door for my neighbours. I’m pretty sure they’re at my door now wanting me to sign off on a package for them.”

“You want to go and check?” Victor asked.

“Not really.”

“Come on, I am sure you want to,” he said.

“All right, but keep that thought. I still have a story to get out of you.”

Victor grinned and I dashed upstairs.

I met the UPS guy halfway and said hello.

“Hello,” he replied. “You don’t happen to live in Number 43 do you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Then, this is for you.” He handed me a small package and I signed for it.

I stood in the stairway not sure whether I should go upstairs to open it or return to Victor’s and talk. I decided to go to my place.

I opened the package and it was a CD with a post-it note attached to it saying, ‘play this’. I was hesitant because the handwriting was Dayo’s but I was also eager to know what was in there so I slotted it into the CD player and sat on the floor in front of it to listen.

The lyrics from David Cook's version of Mariah Carey’s Always Be My Baby pierced the quietness of my place and caused my eyes to sting a little. I knew where Dayo was going with this. I flashed back to the moment Dayo and I watched him on American Idol. Dayo had jokingly sang the refrain to me that night and here it was again. Only this time it came with the beginning.

The refrain continued repeatedly as I fought back tears. My phone beeped once. It was a one word text from Dayo: Always. I cried but I did not text back. Instead, I opened a bottle of red wine and drank straight from it. It helped my aching heart. I wanted to respond but I could not. How does one tell a guy he holds your heart but you still want out?

I heard the knock between the memories of Dayo that I was playing in my head. I went to the door and Victor was there.

“Oh, I didn’t come back, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, do you want to do this another time?” he asked.

“Now is the perfect time actually, I’m not in my best mood.”

“You think?” he asked, nodding his head towards the bottle of wine.

I gave a wry smile. I needed ears anyway and Victors I could get.

“I have a difficult case at work. My friends are far away and I’m having a hard day.”

“I am not sure how all those link together but hugs.” Victor wrapped his arms around himself, as if he was giving me a hug. I smiled.

“For someone I just met, you sure know how to say the right things.”

“I try.”

I smiled again.

“How about we order pizza and just chat?” I asked

“Sounds like a plan.” We placed our order and I stopped the music. I glanced at my CD collection and I had an idea. Two can play Dayo’s game. My impulsive self kicked in and I had to make my move too.

“Victor, I’m really sorry but can we take a rain check? There’s something that I’ve got to do. They can deliver the pizza to you and if I’m back early, I’ll try and explain later.”

Victor looked perplexed but he left.

*****

I grabbed the topmost CD and took a cab to the studio where Dolapo sometimes got promo CDs recorded. I got them to make me a copy with just the beginning of Key to my Heart and I asked the cab to take me to Dayo’s place and I slotted it into the mail box.

That song would be more than enough to tell him how I felt but it wasn’t about that anymore. I was weak as got back into the cab but I summoned up courage to send him my one word text over. Only then did I feel a semblance of peace. Now he’ll know I’ll still be leaving him.

My phone rang a few minutes later. It was Dayo. I answered.

“T babe,” he said in a strained voice.

My heart raced and ached all at once.

“Yeah?”

“I got your text. I can’t do this. I think we should meet up.”

“That’s not a good idea, D.”

“Please.”

"I won’t change my mind.”

“ Maybe but I have to see you.”

I groaned.

“ I sent you a CD. It says everything I want to tell you.”

“ Which artiste?”

“Jessica Jarrell.”

“If that’s true then why are you doing this?”

“I am not quite sure… your wife… stolen moments... it’s all too complicated.”

“What if I told you that’s all about to change?”

“Is it really D?”

“It might.”

“Oh, a probability?”

“Titi please, you don’t know the kind of day I’ve had. Name a place and I’ll be there or just think about it.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you. I love you, you know?”

“I know but it’s not enough.”

“Good night.”

“'Night.”

The cab was at the front of my apartment now. My legs felt like mush but I didn’t want to run my bill any higher so I got out of the cab and walked to the entrance. Funny how the little things like cost now crossed my mind when earlier, it didn’t even occur to me. Perhaps it was because I had just spoken to D. I searched for my keys. I toyed with buzzing Victor’s apartment but I squashed the thought.

While still searching for my keys, another cab pulled up and a very tall man came out with an overnight bag. He looked familiar but I wasn’t sure why. I held the door for him but then Victor came out at that time to get the door. I could see why the man looked familiar now. He had the same curly hair like Victor and grey eyes a shade lighter.

They exclaimed as they saw each other. Victor introduced me to his cousin, Tom.

“Do you want to come for some of your pizza?” Victor asked as Tom looked on.

“No, I think it’ll be put to good use.” I replied, not wanting to be the crowd in what was obviously a sort of reunion.

“See you later then?” Victor asked.

“Later.”

As I climbed the stairs to my apartment, two pair of eyes bore into my skin but it was one that stayed on my mind; the light grey pair.


(c) Ayodele Alofe