TEMMY: Every Day Is For The Thief

Titi and I sat down on the couch in my trendy 2-bedroom apartment’s living room. Cradled in our hands were cups of decaffeinated coffee we bought on our way to my place in middle of central London. She sat there staring at me, waiting for answers to all the questions she had been asking me while we were at the underground station. I knew she was curious but I couldn’t discuss this particular matter with her while we were outside. So I suggested she should follow me back to my place, where we could talk properly.

“Temmy, I’m listening.”
I sighed.
“Why are you avoiding this man? What is going on?”
“It’s a long story Titi,” I said.
“Please enlighten me! You act odd whenever the guy turns up. He turns up at random times. When he volunteered to follow us to the hospital you were so adamant and you refused to let him join us. Why?”
I shrugged.
“What are you hiding precisely?” Titi pressed on. “This is so unlike you.”
“I’ve done things I can’t erase. Things I have to live it but I don’t know how to face them right now.” I said.

I knew the time was coming that I would have to answer a lot of questions but I wasn’t expecting it yet. Maureen is lying there in the hospital fighting for her life. We should be focusing on her for now. Yes, I’m making excuses for myself. Maureen’s health is important but I also need to stop hiding and running from the truth. It’s time to let it out and free myself from this heavy weight on my shoulder.

“So he has something to do with these things you did?” Titi nudged me. “Temmy? Temmy are with me?”
I looked up and tried to smile.
“Yes, Titi.”
“Darling, what’s going on?” She moved over and sat beside me.
I turned to look at her and I could see concern written on her face. She doesn’t know I don’t deserve her concern. I don’t deserve sympathy at all.

I lifted my face and began.
“Do you remember when I had to leave our school and I got enrolled to boarding school?”
“Yes I do. You moved house and you couldn’t commute anymore.”
“Yeah, Tade was in the same boarding school. We were in the same class.” I said.
She nodded for me to continue.
“He liked me and I liked him too but nothing much happened. We exchanged a few messages and had random chitchats in school. But I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I was dead focused on preparation for my A levels. I didn’t talk about him at all because I felt it wasn’t important. ”
“Okay.” Titi said.
“I’d not seen Tade since we left college. And then I saw him in Paris on my last trip. We bumped into each other in Champs Élysées. It was so surreal. We embraced and chitchatted. Then we had lunch at the Eiffel Tower, visited Musée du Louvre. We went for Seine river cruise. Dinner in a nice restaurant, you know, doing normal tourist stuff. It was all so romantic. I’d always dreamed of returning to Paris as an adult with someone I love... I guess I just got caught up in the moment...”

I paused for a moment, to sip my coffee. Titi was watching me closely.

“… we realised we were still very much attracted to each other. One thing lead to another, we kissed”
“Temmy!-”
“Titi! I made a huge mistake but please let me get everything off my chest before you become my judge.”
I got up and moved towards the French windows, I looked outside for few minutes. I stood there and stared into space.
“I know. I’m wrong but that’s the least of it. After the kiss, I realised what I had done. I wanted to break up with Emeka so bad. In fact I’d been thinking about it before I left London. I thought about it when I got to Paris. I thought about it while I lay awake in my hotel room that first night. Yet I couldn’t! I wanted to prove to my Mum that I could make this relationship work. I had to prove to myself that I’m not fickle. That I can settle! But I can’t... I can’t! And I had to make this mistake to realise it.”

I turned and met her eyes.
“After the kiss I tried to avoid Tade. I really tried, but I was torn between my conscience that won’t let me rest, and the attraction between us that kept pulling me. The kiss... I cannot find words to describe it. It felt so right. It made me wish for things I couldn’t have yet. I’ve to be a free woman.”
“Hmmm” Titi murmured. “So what happened next?”
“Tade dropped by my hotel the next day and persuaded me to have dinner with him. Dinner was a bit uncomfortable at first until I got caught up in the moment. He’s just so enthralling. It felt like everything was falling in place for me. I was really happy to be with him but I knew I shouldn’t have. Emeka wasn’t too far from my mind.”
Titi raised an eyebrow and sipped some more of her coffee, still listening.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I continued. “After dinner he escorted me back to my hotel. He insisted on escorting me to ensure I got to my room safely. A part of me knew it wasn’t a good idea but I yearned for him, you know? I just wanted him around me. I didn’t want to him to leave. So...”

I paused.
“So?”
“I slept with Tade.”
“You did what?” Titi snapped. She looked flabbergasted. I saw a rush of emotions on her face. I saw disbelief, disgust and confusion. “Temmy, why? How could you let it get to that stage?”
“I don’t know. I have no excuse; I built a cobweb of lies. I lied to Emeka that I kissed someone and I-“
Titi gasped. “Temmy, I can’t believe my ears! I understand why you felt you needed to stick with Emeka but why didn’t just let go when you were not happy? Isn’t your happiness more important?”
“I know my happiness matters but I’m human. I’m not perfect and you are not either!”
Titi shrank back into the sofa. Silence filled the room.

I moved back to the couch and sat across her.
“I’ve made mistakes but you don’t need to kick me while I’m already down. You should know better.”
She turned her face away for some seconds then she turned back and faced me.
“So Tade is now chasing you. What exactly does he want? Hasn’t he done enough damage?
“Well, he’s not at fault. He doesn’t know about Emeka.”
Titi sighed. “What a mess!”
“I know Titi. The lies are now haunting me...”
“Why shouldn’t lies haunt you? You were not honest with yourself, how will you be honest with anyone?”
“You should know better than to be judgemental Titi!” I snapped at her. “You’re not a saint either. Your situation is not better than mine, is it? Don’t you think I know that I made huge mistake? You sit on your superior chair and you have the audacity to judge me!”
Titi seemed like she was choosing her words carefully.
“I’m not judging you Temmy but this is a big deal. Yes, I’m not perfect, I’ve my own issues. I know you are only human but you should have put yourself first. If you had been truthful with yourself you would have realised you didn’t want to be with Emeka any longer. Why do you need to prove a point to anyone? This is your life. You are the one who will be and live with your partner.”
“Okay,” I said, calming down.
“You need to think about what you want from life, Temmy. I’m not the best person to advice you but one important thing I need to say to you is to choose whatever makes you happy. Please, do that.”
I looked up.
“I will. I’ve to sort out this mess I got myself into, first.”
“So what are you going to do about Tade? You cannot avoid him forever, you know.”
“Yes, I know it’s inevitable. I have to talk to him.”
“Are you going to tell him everything?”
I nodded while I stared at the carpet.
“Do you still like him?”
I sniffed.
“Oh Temmy, honey.” She got up and moved towards me. She bent in front of me and wiped my tears.
“I know I’m being hard on you but I just don’t want to see you like this. I want you to be happy.”
I sniffed again. She moved closer and hugged me. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my right palm while I held on to her with other. She moved back and looked into my eyes.
“Do you still like him?” she repeated.
“Yes I do but I cannot be with him. We started off with lies. I need to tell him everything so I can move on.”
“Please do that. After this, I want you to take each day at a time. I need you to think about what makes you happy. Please yourself. You cannot please everyone.”
I nodded.
“I will give Tade a call once Maureen is clear. We need to find out if she’s getting better.”
“Yes, I will call Funmi now.” Titi said.
We got up and hugged.
“You will be fine.” She rubbed my back. I held on to her for few minutes.
After a while, I spoke. “I hope Maureen gets better soon.”
“I hope so too, honey. I hope so too.” Titi said.
“Okay, sweetie. Go and take a quick shower while I call one of the girls so we can head back to the hospital.”
“Okay. Will you take your shower too? You can wear one of my clothes.” I told her.
“Yes please. Run along Temmy and don’t stay in there for long.” She teased.
“Okay, I will back soon.” I tried to smile as I walked out of the room.


After we had freshened up, I made us poached egg and toasted breads. We sat down and ate our meal.
“So which of the girls did you speak to?” I asked.
“Unfortunately I couldn’t reach any of the girls.” Titi said.
“Okay, let’s hurry so we can get to the hospital on time.”
We finished our meal and left my flat. On our way to the underground station, I rummaged for my phone inside my handbag. I took it out and dialled Funmi’s number. The line rang and she didn’t pick up.
“I can’t reach Funmi!”
“Do you think she will be at the hospital now?” Titi asked.
“I think so. You know Funmi is always on time.”
I redialled her number, it rang but she didn’t pick up again.
“She is still not picking up.”
Titi mumbled, “Do you think everything is alright?”
I gestured with my hand.
“I don’t know. I’ve an odd feeling.”
We got into the station and went down to the platform. Soon a train arrived and we stepped in and took our seats.
“Something is not right?” Titi stated.
I nodded.
“We cannot reach any of the girls now. Should we try Maureen’s parents?”
I opened my eyes.
“Ah, we should but hold on. We are almost there.” I replied.
We got off at our stop and exited the station. We walked towards the hospital in silence and I continued praying. Maureen just has to be fine. She needs to get better.
“I hope she’s fine.” Titi said.
“I pray so too.”
We walked into the hospital building and met Funmi in the ICU ward. She was facing the other end, watching someone. We walked towards her.
“Funmi, we have been calling your line but you weren’t picking up!” Titi said.
She turned around and she looked solemn.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“They are not giving us any hope. A nurse told me her situation is grave and a lot of people do not survive such degree of morbidity.”
“Oh no!” Titi exclaimed.
“We just have to have hope. She will get better. She just has to.” I stated.
I took out my phone and went outside, then I dialled Lola’s line.
The line went straight to call waiting. I waited for her to switch calls.
“Temmy?” She picked up.
“Lola...”
Lola was on her way to the hospital, so I told her to hurry up because Maureen’s situation wasn’t improving. I hung up and looked up at the other girls. This is it. That moment we need to stay strong and be hopeful. We cannot lose Maureen now. Once again, I held Titi’s hand and prompted Funmi for hers. We moved to a corner and prayed in silence.

(c) Latifa Ayoola