FUNMI - It's Hard to Move On

I was seated on my favourite rocking chair facing the window and gazing outside at the blackness when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was Lola. If I didn’t pick her call after a few rings, she would be here later demanding an explanation. How could I tell her that I was still dreaming of what life with Ebuka would have been like? His picture even sat on my laps as I stared at my ringing phone.

His smile always did funny things to me; he was the love of my life, and sadly he still is. I looked at the picture again; he looked like he was smiling at me through it. The years I spent with him were the best I could remember. I met him through my sister at a friend’s birthday party. He shook hands with me and looked right into my eyes, I felt like he was staring into my soul. I lowered my eyes and smiled sheepishly at him, wondering why I was behaving like a teenager.

I lifted my eyes and he gave me the most charming smile I ever saw. We opened our mouths to talk at the same time and we both burst out laughing. My sister had to leave us alone when she noticed we were in our own world. We talked about everything and nothing. It was like meeting someone I had always known. We just sat in a corner chatting and laughing. He was the perfect gentleman, he got up to get me anything I wanted and beside him I felt like a princess. We exchanged numbers.

My sister had teased me about it and I said I was sure he wouldn’t call. I was mistaken, that night he sent me a text message that made me smile. He called the next day, he wanted to know my plans for the weekend, we made arrangements to meet and our second meeting confirmed what I thought. I had found my soul mate.

Ebuka and I were inseparable. We were the envy of everyone. Even Temmy who was notorious for changing boyfriends like clothes wanted me to give her tips on how she could have a relationship like ours. My only concern was Ebuka’s attachment to his mum. She was very controlling and she always had to know where he was. I had met her once, and I felt she had acted cold towards me. In my mind I dreaded having her as my mother-in-law but I nipped the thoughts in the bud. I told myself to stop indulging in evil thoughts.

Then one Saturday afternoon we had a date and Ebuka didn’t show up. I had called him several times and he didn’t pick up, not even once. I thought of a million and one reasons why and I was so scared that something bad had happened to him. Even the thought makes me smile now through my tears. Tears I know I shouldn’t shed anymore. I had been so worried; I just sat there praying he would show up. Afternoon turned to evening, evening to night and I still had not seen him. Any beep of my phone got me jumping up.

I remember that night vividly. Titi was in my apartment, I had called her to come over when the nervousness of waiting for Ebuka was getting too much for me to bear. She had tried to take my mind off things and said we should play a game of scrabble. I grudgingly obliged her and she shot into the lead effortlessly.

“You’re not concentrating on the game Funmi.”

“I am; honestly.”

Titi had sneered and I glared at her. We both smiled.

“Funmi come on, take your own advice and concentrate on the now.” She said.

I wanted to pretend that I was not bothered, but I was and I knew Titi could see it.

She reached out for my arm and squeezed it.

“You should calm down, I normally won’t beat you in this game and we both know it.”

I nodded.

“I’m sure Ebuka is fine, something just has to be holding him up.”

I nodded again.

At midnight, he finally called. I wanted to feign anger but I was too ecstatic. I picked the phone and turned on the charm, but my smile froze as I heard Ebuka’s sobs over the phone.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry Funmi, Funmi I’m sorry, I love you.”

“What are you talking about darling?”

“We can’t continue, I’m sorry, mum doesn’t approve. She wants me to marry an Ibo girl.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Ebuka was breaking up with me because his mother wanted a girl from their tribe. He hung up, still crying, but I was too shocked to say anything else.

I dragged myself to sit beside Titi who had been listening intently as I took Ebuka’s call. Then I broke into heart wrenching sobs. She wrapped her arms around me and just kept whispering “It’s ok, you’ll be fine”.

The kettle whistled, jolting me out of my reverie. I jumped off the chair, wiping tears off my face with the back of my hands. I took Ebuka’s photo with me. “I must not cry anymore. I must be strong. I’m a strong woman”. I whispered to myself. On my way to the kitchen, I noticed my mobile phone was ringing again. I was right, it was Lola. I made a mental note to call her back after I had settled myself.

“I need to be strong for my girls.” I thought.

I came back to the living room with a steaming cup of coffee and then I tore up Ebuka’s photo, the one I liked most that I always stared at. It was time to move on from the baggage. He wasn’t man enough to fight for our love, why should I continue to moan his loss? I wished I would remember this resolve the next time I wanted to pick up the phone to call him, just to hear his voice.

I took a sip of my coffee, threw the shredded photo into the waste bin and dialled Lola’s number. Lola wasn’t picking up and I guessed she was on her way already. After the second call, her muffled voice came through.

“I’m on my way to your place Funmi, we need to talk.”

“Oh! What’s it about?”

“I’m driving, see you soon.”

What did Lola want to talk about? I wondered as I paced about my living room impatiently. I downed my coffee and thought of what I would make for dinner. Lola was probably coming from work, and she might not have eaten. Coconut rice with chicken sauce wasn’t a bad idea, I concluded. I looked around trying to make sure I had no photo of Ebuka around just as Lola pounded her fist on the door. The crazy girl, she would never use the door bell.

I opened the door and Lola walked into the room short of breath; she had obviously been walking too fast.

“Funmi, it has happened!”

Lola dropped her bag on the seat dramatically lifting her hands. I sat down and patted the seat beside me motioning for her to sit. She hissed and then flung herself on the sofa. I turned to face her.

“So tell me, what exactly has happened?”

“He’s married!”

“Who?” I gave her a quizzical look.

“The nice guy, the one we all liked”

“Ok, can you just speak in clear terms?”

Lola shook her head and blurted out:

“Dayo is married! Titi’s Dayo.”

I shot off my seat and turned to face her squarely.

“Eh! How can, Lola? How can he be married?”

“I swear he is.” Lola bit her finger and raised it up, this made me smile. Old habits die hard.

I stared hard at Lola waving my hand so she would know to continue. I listened as Lola narrated seeing Dayo’s wedding photos on Facebook. My mouth was agape. Lola jumped up as she finished her story.

“I’m going to call Titi now and tell her.”

I gave Lola a look that made her sit back down. She looked interesting as she chewed on her lip.

“Seriously Funmi, I should call her right now.”

I shook my head and rubbed my chest in a way that said calm down to Lola.

“Yes she needs to know but we need to agree on the best way.”

Lola nodded.

“You can’t just blurt it out.”

Lola looked demure as I talked to her. “I understand. This isn’t exactly good news.”

We agreed that she would call Titi and give her the information, but she would narrate what she saw calmly.

Lola nodded her agreement.

“Let me call her now.”

“Yep, go ahead. I hope she doesn’t take it too hard. I might have to go over to hers later.”

Lola brought out her phone and I watched as she dialled Titi’s number praying that Titi would take the news well.




(c) Writefreak


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